We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
