She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
