thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
