He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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