dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
