Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
