I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
