hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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