Is it normal to miss your booty call?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
