My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
