I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
