90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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