It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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