I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
