he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
