I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
