Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
