i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
