I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
