Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
