An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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