she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
