hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize