please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
