eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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