I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
