Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
