her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
