I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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