Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
