Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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