but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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