Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
