Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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