Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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