haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need a beard to bite.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
