There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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