I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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