Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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