does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We smell like vodka and hangover
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