he wants to bone in the snuggie
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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