It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
