She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He has the fingertips of a God
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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