Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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