Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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