You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
