and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
