remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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