his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
