Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
