omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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