I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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