TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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