i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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