why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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