If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
