Already got asked if we're dating
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
