I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
