i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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