She said her name was "party"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
