she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
