My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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