In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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