ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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