The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
